I don’t blog. I never have. I don’t know why I haven’t, I mean, I think about doing one all the time. I’ve just never been motivated to. Ah, there it is. Motivation, maybe that’s the issue, no time, too lazy and lack of caring! Or maybe it’s just that I haven’t had anything of significance to say that would impose any value for people to remotely care about. All of these excuses seem fairly valid. Excuses, excuses are what prompted this post. Pretty lame eh? How so do you ask? It was the Solace I found in an Air Burst.
Houser, 70 NE Rogue. That’s me. 200+ played, I’ve been around the block, seen a few fights. Same guild since launch, hell I’ve been in the same guild for 11 years, although many would call it a Clan back then. You’ve stumbled across my first blog. I read an ass ton of them, even have my daily favorites, most of them about Warcraft… but as for reasons stated above, I've never written one before, it never happened. There is no blog screen shot.
The important thing to note is that I don’t write. I never have and when I did – it was usually criticized, never helped. I posted news on our guild’s forum, yet I have since gotten relieved of that task. (After two and a half years of writing news posts about guild kills, the content gets a little dry.) I was out of ideas, plain and simple and the guild knew it. I couldn’t go any further without keeping my general rules: “Keep it simple, short and too the point. Make us look like we didn’t have too much trouble with the encounter and don’t make the posts out to be like we are some sort of LARPing freaks” Rules that me and another officer came up with a long time ago. Yes, I am an officer and Co-GM, and I love to play Warcraft.
We’re a Semi-casual-hardcore-not-so-much-serious-but-have-fun guild. We don’t fit into any particular raiding stereotype. We’ve killed Vashj and we’ve killed Kael. We know what we're doing. Our main tank is a fantastic raid leader and the officers around him only make him better. Currently on Bloodboil in BT, we have everything down in MH except the big well drainer himself. Archimonde. Our players are really nice to raid with, 50% are exceptionally skilled, 25% are fairly decent and the other 25% that are mediocre but reliable. We are lucky in one huge facet, location. There is a central hub of officers located in 1 city; friends forever and gamers for life. Even the officers that are outside the city or even country are a plane ride away. We’ve all met and we are all tight.
I was pretty tired last night. As most gamers can relate, it was a late night before that and end of month at my work is pretty intensive. Straight off a Hard Drive failure last week that stressed the weekend out – even with my best dood-bro there for support, the weekend was a right off until the PC was back in order. I even struggled to make it home in time for our first full night of Archimonde. I was tired, but nonetheless excited. All the prep work was done; piles of reading, videos, chatting with other guilds, general banter on our forums, I did it all. But did everyone else? 50% did. That I know for sure. Regardless, I am far from concerned about failed tries. I know it takes a lot for a guild to get in a rhythm while trying a new boss and I honestly was prepared for wiping. I like to put in my dues. I far from enjoy easy fights and free loot.
It was two and half hours into our attempts… I was exhausted. I logged off vent a while ago, after attempt 4 or so. My best aforementioned dood-bro was criticizing my ideas front of everyone again, trying to make me look like a retard. It’s been a while since he’s done that. He doesn’t realize he’s doing it – not just to me but to others. It just makes me angry when it IS at me. No doubt he was tired too, I'll love the guy again tomorrow. But I was irritated and after just 4 attempts it was tough to get a word in edgewise on vent, so I left. The excuses for death came in waves up to that point... Short of the, “someone has a gun pointed at my head and is making me play” The stress was building. The tear wasn’t working, lag, someone did this and someone didn’t do that, the normal cliché chatter that’s spoken when guilds are attempting a new boss. No problem, we all need to see it a few more times before we get comfortable.
Try after try the same people died to the same thing. Wow, go figure, I've read all of that on about 3-4 different blogs and forums. Again, no problem – lots of way of dealing with it. I’ve read a shit load of forum posts on how to get them to smarten up. Unfortunately, when it comes to personal accountability our Semi-casual-hardcore-not-so-much-serious-but-have-fun guild, lacks discipline. I rather hear - "I got this now, no problem," rather than"this is too random, there was nothing I can do." So what now? Sit some people out…Not on the first night, everyone's allowed a fuck up here and there. The stress was at full throttle though – Gladly off vent, free from going off the handle at someone. (Which I rarely do, but I was pretty tired, so I took no chances).
Around what seemed to be our 15th try I accidentally hit Ctrl-S. Silence. No game sound, no Ventrilo – just silence. DING – Big Wigs still comes through - Air Burst on me – 3….2………1………….
Something was different. Was no sound the reason for this? I’ve been shot into the air, but this time everything seemed so clear, so focused. There wasn’t anyone around me, there wasn’t someone dragging a Doomfire through me, I wasn’t watching 15 of my best mates running around like a mad man during a fear… I was floating in air – quiet, contempt, natural and alone. My problems were my problems and I was in control. It was familiar to an experience I had many years ago, strafe jumping around q2dm8 with a Railgun in hand. There was ebb, flow, grace, something that told me this was a moment I needed, a moment that was building for many raids. Did I need this moment? I guess I did. Why else would it feel different from the 20 other Air Burst’s that night? The well of eternity almost was almost saved – I was here to do it. heh The mountains, the sky – the thought of how many beers I was going to pound back for May 24 weekend. It was Solace. Solace from the pain and agony of every wipe we’ve ever had on any boss. Solace from the constant chatter and guild drama that was to most surely unfold tomorrow. Solace from a terrible night of wipes and a terrible day at work. Solace from last weeks hardware problem. Solace from the girlfriend’s nagging. Solace in an Air Burst.
After coming down, clicking the Tear and landing safely I turned to my raid frames to watch 2 people fall to their death. Screw Solaces.
Those are the moments I play for. Ones that don’t come often, ones that show there face in the most unlikely of times. Ones that take you out beyond the game, no matter what nerf or patch or people you’re playing with. Love those moments. Go!
